One Moment in Time

For quite some time now I've had a running list of ideas that I wanted to write about. One of them I titled, "One moment in time." The concept was to write about the different people in my life and how each of them taught me something in particular.

First, I will write about Kerry. My partner in crime. My best friend who died last month at the ripe young age of 40 and whom I am struggling to let go.

I named one of my children for her. It was my ploy to God that I would be as good a mother as she was. Kerry adopted four children. Each of them has special challenges. She not only embraced these difficulties but she met them with a great sense of humor. She was, by far, the funniest person I've ever known.

She exemplified the phrase "Live your life out loud."

In this age of the Internet, her facebook page still exists. Her email is still accessible. I still have her listed as my 'favorite' and she is.

What she taught me was how deep love can be and how much how you love someone matters.

Her love for her children lives on. The very last thing she gave them was a Daddy. Go Kerry!

Wherever you are up there, I miss you with all my heart and I won't ever be the same without you.

I know it's been raining so much because God is up there wetting himself listening to her wisecracks.



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Dill Pickle Extravaganza

After an abundant crop of cucumbers blessed my home this year...



I decided to make pickles...


Lots and lots of pickles...



Yum!

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Transitions

Today was the day my best friend was getting married. She died June 15. It was a cruel twist of fate. After years of struggling in her personal life she had finally found her one true love. It would've been such fun today to see her realize her own piece of happiness in the world.

I talked to her every night after our collective seven children went to bed. We shared our frustrations, our disappointments and our fears. It was a safe place where no topic was taboo. I miss her so completely. I am terribly lonely for her company. She could make me laugh at the end of my worst day. It was truly a gift to have her in my life. I am grateful.

At this same moment another transition is happening in my world. My mentor is retiring this Summer. The person at work who showed me how to navigate the shark infested government waters that I swim in every day. The wisdom and common sense of this person will also be sorely missed.

I am feeling rather lost right now. My own little world feels like a jell-o bowl turned upside down. Quivering, sticky and generally messy.

I know that my Mother's favorite saying, "When one door closes another one opens," has always been true in the past and therefore I declare that I am truly looking forward to the next chapter because whatever God has in store must be pretty damn good.

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Red Velvet and Dark Chocolate

My oldest child's spectacular birthday is tomorrow. Hence the reason I am up at 9:30 pm baking. I am making two cakes. A red velvet and a dark chocolate fudge both with fresh homemade whipped cream made the way my Grammy taught me.



This is my sample for tasting tonight.


Happy Birthday Baby!






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Cosmic Forces

My best friend died on Tuesday. And as a mutual friend of ours said to describe it, "Cosmic Forces are at ultimate suck level today." I wholeheartedly agree.

She was 40.

When I talked to a nurse friend yesterday she told me that some stars shine so brightly that they don't last very long. I thought it was an apt description.

I spent the last few minutes of every night talking to my friend. She made everything right in my world. Whatever had gone wrong was made better by Kerry. I won't ever forget how much she meant to me.



Kerry Halva Cash 1969-2010

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The Gateway Drug to Gardening

Recently I heard a friend quote a special from NPR that called tomatoes the "Gateway drug to gardening." So true.

I planted my garden tonight and over half of the space was devoted to tomatoes.

I planted three different tomatoes,







carrots, melon,






cucumbers,





eggplant,





cauliflower, and peas.





There will also be a watermelon and pumpkin patch planted this weekend.

I can't wait to tell you the stories of this years' seeds. Reading the seed catalogs in January while it is snowing always gives me hope for the next summer of joy.

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Friday Night Food Porn

Somewhere in the depths of my brain a huge spark flickered today and started to burn brightly. I was reading a recipe for homemade Graham crackers. This was something to add to my recipe bookmarks to try. I make lovely marshmallow creme. Lately, I've been dreaming of nutella...



And thus we have "Friday Night Food Porn."

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