Saturday, July 3, 2010


Today was the day my best friend was getting married. She died June 15. It was a cruel twist of fate. After years of struggling in her personal life she had finally found her one true love. It would've been such fun today to see her realize her own piece of happiness in the world.

I talked to her every night after our collective seven children went to bed. We shared our frustrations, our disappointments and our fears. It was a safe place where no topic was taboo. I miss her so completely. I am terribly lonely for her company. She could make me laugh at the end of my worst day. It was truly a gift to have her in my life. I am grateful.

At this same moment another transition is happening in my world. My mentor is retiring this Summer. The person at work who showed me how to navigate the shark infested government waters that I swim in every day. The wisdom and common sense of this person will also be sorely missed.

I am feeling rather lost right now. My own little world feels like a jell-o bowl turned upside down. Quivering, sticky and generally messy.

I know that my Mother's favorite saying, "When one door closes another one opens," has always been true in the past and therefore I declare that I am truly looking forward to the next chapter because whatever God has in store must be pretty damn good.

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