Free At Last

"Thank God Almighty. I'm Free At Last." -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King

The joy at which my soul shouts these words in the car today was unmistakeable. The arthritis doctor has released me from all medical restrictions and I am free to run as much as I please.

Kind woman that she is, she paid me today one of the nicest compliments I think I've ever received. She said, "I have patients who have no children, and ones who don't work and they can't find the time to exercise and improve their own health. You, on the other hand, take complete responsibility for your own care. You own it and you have from the moment you first walked into my office."

Bam. Wow! What a compliment to receive. It has been several years now since my arthritis was diagnosed. I have fought valiantly to get my weight down and my muscle tone up. Today was like frosting on the cake.

So tomorrow. It's a brand new day.


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The Children Are Nestled All Snug in Their Beds

The choice of sleeping arrangements is a hot topic amongst young mothers. Vicki Iovine, who writes "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" explains it this way. She says there are those who choose to keep their bed for themselves and their spouse. The second choice being the family bed where everyone in the house sleeps together. And the "Chef's Surprise" meaning parents accommodate whatever happens on any given night and don't fully sign up in either camp.

My husband and I tried valiantly at first to keep everyone in their own beds. Then we tried Chef's Surprise. Now we choose the family bed. The irony of this is that when we lived in a tiny two bedroom cottage we did separate spaces and now that we live in a home twice that size we sleep all together.

It is a pain to climb over bodies in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. It is lovely, however, to cuddle with children who want to held. It is also very convenient for the soothing of nightmares and for nursing (although we have passed that stage here).

I'm sure there will come a day when they go back to their own rooms and sleep by themselves. But until then I will hold them close and enjoy the quaint sounds of teeth grinding and tiny snoring. It's pretty toasty in my bed these days.


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Food is Love

My handsome husband always says this phrase. I never used to really understand what he meant.

I think I finally got the hint. This is what I did for him for Valentine's Day.





True love and homemade cannolli.




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She's Going the Distance

It is with a bit of sadness that I must inform you that this past year's New Year's Resolution has not been achieved.

I'm not used to giving up. Not reaching my goals. Not going the distance.

You will recall that this past year's goal was to run the Hartford Half Marathon and beat my personal best time.

Unfortunately, after coming through a strong season of training last winter I was banned from running in April for six long months. At the time the Hartford was run this past year, I wasn't cleared for even a mile. Ugh. It was disappointing. It hurt my soul to fail.

After being cleared to run in November but limited to 3 miles, I trained for the Thanksgiving 5K Race and logged a personal best there.


I've been doing a lot of thinking about this year's goals. Trying to decide where I'm headed.

Part of me thinks it would be bold to throw a new goal out there and part of me says to keep it a secret. I guess disappointment from this past year is making me shy.

Homemade Applesauce

After reading an entry in Jenn Sutherland's The Whole Kitchen blog I was inspired. I looked up several different recipes and melded them together.



I used ten apples. Peeled and cored. One of my helpers learned to peel.



I added half a cup of water, some cinnamon and a bit of sugar.


Tossed it in my crockpot for about four hours on low.



I ate some for lunch without mashing and was dying to throw it in pie crust. It would have made a beautiful pie. Last step was mashing with a fork and serving hot with a nice pork chop and mashed potatoes. Yum!

Thanks for the inspiration, Jenn Sutherland at http://thewholekitchen.blogspot.com/


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The Guilt of Being Someone’s Mother

Sometimes the guilt overwhelms and consumes me. This weekend when my husband and I went to my daughter’s cheerleading competition he said, “They did well, but they would’ve done better if they had a better coach.” I heard, “You were the head cheerleader at an NCAA college, why didn’t you coach our daughter’s squad so they could win the competition.” And I felt inside, so so guilty that I had said no to this very item. Having two other children and an opposite work schedule from my husband I didn’t have a choice to say yes. As I said to the person who had asked me to coach, “I can’t watch my own two toddler boys and coach a team of 15 or 20 pre-teen girls at the same time.” Not possible. Still, the moment rankles. I know that what he said wasn’t directed at me. But it’s so hard not to hear it that way.

More and more of my life I seem to be having these guilt-ridden moments. If only I stayed home with them then I wouldn’t have to make these awful choices. Part of me says that I don’t have a choice. We live in an expensive area and although we bought a very reasonable home in the not-so-fancy part of town our mortgage is still substantial. We couldn’t afford to own our home if I didn’t work. Would we be just as happy in some basement rental with mom at home? I read a lot of blogs these days about being fiscally and financially sound, frugal living, environmental choices, child rearing, couponing, etc. Many of the women and men who write these blogs have made the choice to stay home and live with less than ideal housing situations. I am thrilled to read their articles and even more thrilled when it saves my own family more money. I wonder though if their choices are permeating my shield.
Every time I have to say “no” to my children’s school or to coaching or to something related to one of their activities it pounds on my heart. It makes the guilt sink deeper into my soul.

At work, I feel like what I do makes a difference in other people’s lives. In the past two years, I have helped twelve families rehabilitate their homes through the no interest loan program I run. I have helped the Town I work for utilize their long term capital budgeting to make prudent choices on behalf of the community of over thirty thousand people. Over the fifteen years of my professional career, I have helped permit facilities for the elderly, day care homes and centers, home occupations, in-law apartments and more. The people that these facilities affect are important too, aren’t they?
Still, the guilt rankles. Today, I’m having a hard time putting it away…


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A Jam Packed Weekend

This weekend's itinerary included the usual cleaning, laundry, cheerleading practice, one football game and a realization.

The freezer was holding four pounds of strawberries and two pounds of blueberries. My plan for Wednesday (my garbage pick up) was to completely empty my freezer and refrigerator.

For weeks we have been making minimal purchases at the grocery and doing our best to empty out the space.

Therefore, I realized, it was jam making weekend.



It amazes me how four pounds of strawberries and six cups of sugar only makes four pints of strawberry jam.




This is the blueberry. Which I'm thinking is going to make a wicked spread this winter for the much loved pancakes.



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